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Aftertaste, 11 of 12
āThe first law of holes: When you find yourself in one, stop digging.ā
Hingaās Kenyan sponsor had shared the saying during one of the more trying spells in his life, when he got fired from The Lodge after divulging his part in losing them the top spot on the Gastronomique 20. Now, at his 11-year virtual sober birthday party, he conveniently twisted the wise words to fit neatly into the mosaic heād been creating. He couldnāt lose this milestone, not publicly, anyway.
āAs I embark on my 12th year on this journey, one I hadnāt even realized I had the stuff to start, two things have become clear. You canāt walk this road alone. And just like it took multiple little steps to get into the hole, itāll take multiple little steps to get out. Iām eternally grateful to all of you, my friends, and my family, for patiently and painstakingly helping me out of this hole. I owe you one.ā
Then, when Stevie hopped off to the farmerās market, he soaked his pillow in tears, downed his afternoon dose of Stilnoct, and drifted off to a place where his conscience couldnāt hurt him.
It wasnāt supposed to get this untenable. He really did just crave a reprieve from the burden of being lucid and aware of the mayhem in and around him. The rapid slip back into old habits overtook whatever will heād built to fortify his grip. He found himself dabbling with the drug even when he neither needed nor wanted to sleep. The more he took, the more relaxed he felt. The less stressed he was about the somber, unpredictable future. The easier he could forget he didnāt say goodbye to the one person whoād been in his corner throughout his life.
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