💊 Proprietary Recipe

“The first law of holes: When you find yourself in one, stop digging.”

Hinga’s Kenyan sponsor had shared the saying during one of the more trying spells in his life, when he got fired from The Lodge after divulging his part in losing them the top spot on the Gastronomique 20. Now, at his 11-year virtual sober birthday party, he conveniently twisted the wise words to fit neatly into the mosaic he’d been creating. He couldn’t lose this milestone, not publicly, anyway.

“As I embark on my 12^th year on this journey, one I hadn’t even realized I had the stuff to start, two things have become clear. You can’t walk this road alone. And just like it took multiple little steps to get into the hole, it’ll take multiple little steps to get out. I’m eternally grateful to all of you, my friends, and my family, for patiently and painstakingly helping me out of this hole. I owe you one.”

Then, when Stevie hopped off to the farmer’s market, he soaked his pillow in tears, downed his afternoon dose of Stilnoct, and drifted off to a place where his conscience couldn’t hurt him.

It wasn’t supposed to get this untenable. He really did just crave a reprieve from the burden of being lucid and aware of the mayhem in and around him. The rapid slip back into old habits overtook whatever will he’d built to fortify his grip. He found himself dabbling with the drug even when he neither needed nor wanted to sleep. The more he took, the more relaxed he felt. The less stressed he was about the somber, unpredictable future. The easier he could forget he didn’t say goodbye to the one person who’d been in his corner throughout his life.